Apologies for being quiet, I usually have plenty to say but recently I haven’t.
Simply put, I’m changing jobs, I’ve disliked my current role since Christmas and when I don’t like something, I really struggle with the motivation to carry on. I’m perhaps the most determined individual when I like something and feel like I can achieve, however, the role felt impossible. It required me to change parts of my personality and be someone I’m not which I don’t agree with. I also feel like it was missold to me but that’s by-the-by.
Despite not enjoying it, it was something I needed to do, it was a role I would always wonder about and would need to find out if the role was for me or not. Despite essentially failing, I needed to fail. I’ve had months of dreading going to work each day and ending every Friday with a banging headache as the relief of the week being over leaves me. I was an anxious wreck for 6 months and when a job is impacting your mental health, it’s time to take the decision to move on or make it better.
I moved on, found a new role and handed in my notice. Been working my notice for a few weeks now and am back to my old self, banter with Gary, enjoying running again and generally feeling happy and optimistic. I’ve had the occassional OCD thought but having the time to breathe and process them properly without the ordinary stress of daily life was very needed.
I’m acutely aware that work is a necessary evil for most of us, but it’s important to recognise that it is only a part of life, and in no way is the most important part of life. If it starts to impact your life negatively then you need to be selfish, need to start looking after yourself and thinking, what do I need? What about me? And despite change being terrifying, better the devil you know and all that, at some point, something will give, something will break and you’re better off ensuring that the break, isn’t you.
If you’d like to chat feel free to reach out via the ‘Contact’ tab, however I am not a mental health professional and if you would like this support, please see some of the links available on the ‘Support’ tab.