The body one

So when does ‘body positivity’ kick in?

As a nearly 29 year old, I still struggle with how I look, my self-esteem forever low. I will blame the media and the portrayals of women, all skinny and able to eat whatever they please with what seems to be no exercise.

I know it’s unrealistic, but I also see examples closer to home. I have members of my family and friendship groups who are skinny with no effort, they eat and drink what they want, I also no they do minimal exercise and stay that shape. I also know the opposite side if the scale with people who will always be bigger and have acceptance of that. I’m perpetually jealous of both sides.

The logical side of me knows I will never be a size 6 or 8, I’m simply not built that way, I’m broad so even if I were simply bones, I’d still be too wide. Yet I still want it.

The rational side of me knows it’s not that big of a deal, I’m happy with my life as I am, being smaller is highly unlikely to make me any happier. Yet I still want it.

The competitive side of me knows that it’s something I’ll never win. Yet I still want it.

But most of me thinks it’s bloody unfair. I eat mostly well, exercise regularly, drink plenty of water yet I will never be that. I will probably always want that.

Many people say you begin to accept your body throughout your twenties and into your thirties, someone please tell me, when does this happen? I’d like to be able to get ready for a night out that I don’t look in the mirror and want to cry as I survey the lumps and bumps, vowing to run some extra miles this week?

I’d like the answers please!

I’m happy to chat if you’d like to reach out on the ‘Contact’ tab however, I am not a mental health professional, if you’d like this support, please see the ‘Support’ tab.

One thought on “The body one

  1. I can’t tell you when you reach body acceptance, because I’ve never reached it. I have gone from be being almost 250 lbs. to 200 lbs., and even though it feels nice to have lost the weight I’m still acutely aware that I am fat and I don’t feel attractive in any way, shape, or form. I agree that the media representation is fucked up (especially in American films and TV. where fat people barely exist unless they’re the butt of a joke.) I know some people can be comfortable with their weight, but I spent my whole life listening to my mom fat-shame herself and I’ve ended up going down the same road. :/


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