Hasn’t it been hot??
Now I know everyone says we should be grateful, we never get actual summers here in the UK and now we’ve had several weeks of unbroken sun, I even got a tan in Wales, bloody Wales! And you would have heard me moan constantly about the weather and I’ve been argued against every time.
Now I have nothing against the sun, it’s a great thing but I just prefer it hiding, my favourite seasons are autumn and winter, I love jumpers, boots, crunchy leaves and winter comfort food. I like the bright mornings with frost on the ground so when I saw a cloudy sky this morning I was happy.
So what the hell has this got to do with mental health I hear you cry. Well, I’m naturally a sweaty person, apparently it means my body is efficient at cooling itself down, for me it means I can’t wear silk and certain colours for fear of judgement. With the weather being how it has, I have been constantly applying deodorant so I don’t smell and wearing clothes that will not show any patches. I also have an incredible ability to sweat through shorts, denim as well! I’m either anxious about leaving sweaty marks on seats or it looking like I’ve wet myself.
Problem is, sweating is entirely natural yet we have such an aversion to it, thinking it as dirty and unclean. The anxiety surrounding it only increases my heart rate and makes me sweat more and I’m incredibly self-conscious of it. I’ve cried several times when it has been pointed out as I’m so embarrassed by it, I’ve tried specialist deodorants that block sweat glands as an attempt to handle it but I’ve just found it diverts it. It takes my attention away and I’m focussing on other things, do I smell? Are people looking at me in disgust? Did they move away because they find me repulsive? Result, I stay inside where it’s cool and get freezer burns from the constant reapplication of Dove which I now should receive royalties from.
So yes, I will continue to moan that it is too hot, I’m not being miserable, I’m just self-conscious.
If you would like to talk, feel free to get in touch via my Contacts tab, however, I am not a mental health professional and if you would like professional support please see the Support tab.